What exactly is the importance of kinsmen and village elders, and why do we need them in our society and families?
Three sisters, one brother roaming mad in the street, and no parents.
Fifteen years ago, they lost their mother, who was their only surviving parent, but because they were young, fatherless, and broke, they couldn’t afford a burial ceremony. In the Nigerian culture, especially in the South, burial ceremonies are more important than life itself.
In such moments, family members of the deceased are taxed, demands are made, and some rituals are carried out.
These siblings have been struggling through life on their own since they lost their parents. Unable to continue their education at a very tender age, they had to take to the street to begin fending for themselves, until years later, when one of them was affected by mental illness.
Then, sometime this year, two of the sisters started having disturbing dreams about their mother, who had been dead for fifteen years now. According to them, their dead mother is always in tears, asking to be given a “proper burial.” At first, they continued to ignore it, but as it kept repeating itself, they were unable to avoid it.
She continued to disturb two of them in the dream until they could no longer bear it.
They came together as sisters and decided to honor their dead mother’s wish just so that they could have some peace when they closed their eyes to sleep at night. After coming to a conclusion to just get it over and done with, they went to visit their kinsmen and village elders. These were men who made decisions in the village, handled cases that concerned the village, and helped guide the younger ones on how to go about things traditionally.
These were also men who couldn’t even recognize these sisters, daughters of their own “daughter,” because they hadn’t seen them for more than a decade.
They informed them about why they had sought their attention and how to go about it. The elders and kinsmen held a quick meeting among themselves, and they returned and told them that to be able to bury their mother, they would have to pay them the sum of three million, five hundred thousand naira.
They were shocked and confused.
This wasn’t what they expected. They simply wanted to do it so that they could get some peace, and they had thought that these men would understand. They hadn’t even come across such an amount of money for themselves before, so where were they supposed to get it from? How would they raise three million five hundred thousand naira, especially as they were three financially struggling sisters?
After much falling on their knees and pleading for mercy and consideration, the elders and kinsmen were “gracious” enough to bring it down to the sum of seven hundred thousand naira, and that was the least they would accept from them. It was still too much for them, but the elders and kinsmen wouldn’t take more pleas.
Now, these sisters have returned to their homes and jobs to start saving, working extra hard, and speaking to close friends, just in a bid to come up with the seven hundred thousand naira to bury their dead mother properly so that she could finally “rest in peace.”
When they lost their mother fifteen years ago, these elders and kinsmen did nothing to support them or take them in. They let young children into the street to fend for themselves, knowing that they were now orphans and had no help elsewhere. They did not keep in touch to ensure that they were alive and doing just fine. When their only brother started suffering from mental illness, they were nowhere to be found.
Yet, when it was time to honor their mother’s memory, they decided to extort them.
As much as these sisters would have loved to walk away and never look back, they also want to go back to having peaceful night rest without being hunted by their “restless” dead mother. Unfortunately, they cannot carry out this burial ceremony without the elders and kinsmen, as it has been a standing culture for centuries now.
Again, what exactly is the usefulness of village kinsmen and elders?
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Their usefulness is extortion.
And they only get the opportunity during a burial or marriage.
In my place they care more about the GOAT 🐐 you’re giving them as if it’s their life🙄🙄🙄🙄
It’s just so pathetic and draining!
They are not useful at all, it’s tough when financial constraints add to emotional stress. Maybe the community could come together to support the sisters cos this is not right at all.
So painful
Unfortunately, the communities are controlled by these hungry and greedy men.
They are not in anyway useful. They are hungry elders that see opportunity to extort.
If only there was a way to stop them😥
Sincerely, I don’t see their usefulness and they are not always considerate, all they care about is their pockets.
Bunch of selfish entitled inconsiderate set of people
They are useful especially when tradition is involved. Just that in this case , they are not considerate.