Shege: A Nigerian Girl Edition

Check out the meaning of the Nigerian slang, shege, via this link https://medium.com/@iamtori996/shege-what-it-means-in-the-modern-nigerian-society-6d783ab13e8e

When God was giving out conscience and sincerity to mankind freely, artisans deliberately took the day off.

Also, not all friendships and business relationships end well. Some end in enmity, and even a police arrest, or worse.

This is my story.

My sister had a friend named Friday, who was great at carpentry. He became not just her friend, but also an acquaintance of mine because of the closeness they shared, and I always knew that when I was ready to furnish my apartment, he would be the go-to person.

Last year, I contacted him to make a wardrobe for me. After going back and forth with the cost, we settled on a hundred thousand naira. We also agreed that I could pay in installments. Fortunately, I was able to pay the full amount that same month, which was in May 2024. Then he told me that I was going to pay for the delivery, and I agreed. The distance from his shop to where my house was located was long, but I didn’t mind.

Throughout that year, Friday kept promising to bring it, but he never delivered. One Saturday led to the next, until I eventually left my apartment in October.

I went to his shop in December, he showed me the wardrobe, and opened up to me that he was reluctant to bring it all those months because he didn’t fancy making such trip with just one item. We had already talked about getting other pieces of furniture from him, so he said when we made an agreement for that, he wouldn’t hesitate. He also explained to me that while sending a truck driver to deliver it was an option, he wouldn’t advise me to do that because they could easily destroy the furniture. He said that the only way I would get my sets of furniture without any “stories that touch” was if he delivered them himself because he would know just how best to carry and arrange them, and of course, fix them in my house.

I fell for it.

There and then, we made calculations of the other items I needed for my apartment. I told him that I was moving to a new apartment by the next year, so he would be bringing it to the new house. After all the calculations, we arrived at three hundred and thirty-three thousand naira. I intentionally didn’t argue over the cost with him since I already did so with the wardrobe he made for me.

Again, we agreed on payment by installment.

By the end of May, I had already made a down payment of three hundred thousand naira, which was a three-time payment, and I decided that I would give him the balance of thirty-three thousand naira when he brought the furniture.

And that was when the whole trouble began.

From June, Friday kept making promises and breaking them. This was quite different from what he did to me last year. This time around, I was more eager because I wanted my space to have that beautiful look.

I would call him, and he would promise to bring the items that Saturday. Saturday would come. I would call him in the morning concerning our agreement, and he would assure me that he was bringing them. He even told me how much I was to prepare for delivery fee, and I accepted without arguments. Then later in the evening, when I wasn’t getting any call from Friday asking for directions, I would call him, but he would switch off his phone.

He would not be reachable until later at night, and he still wouldn’t pick up until the next day, when he would cook up one excuse or another.

This repeated pattern continued for months, leading to frustration and distrust. Unable to handle it alone anymore, I told close family and friends about it.

They visited him at his shop, called him, and even threatened him, but none of that moved Friday.

I begged him over and over again; even told him that I wanted to do my birthday photoshoot in my room, and he promised, but again and again, he didn’t deliver.

It got so disturbing that my sister had to step in. Their friendship had strained over the years, but that didn’t prevent her from getting herself involved in the matter. She contacted her friend, who involved vigilante men because of her relationship with them, and they went to his house on Sunday, in August. They found him and took him to his shop, only to discover that he hadn’t done most of what he was supposed to do. From the pictures of the wardrobe that was sent to me, I realized that it wasn’t what he showed me in December. He had sold that one, which was finer, and made a lesser one for me.

Stories were narrated, voices were raised, statement was written, and Friday was made to sign an undertaken to bring the set of furniture to me on the 6^th of September – he chose the date himself. He was also informed that should he fail to deliver, he would be arrested by the police.

You would think that would make him deliver, right?

Well, it didn’t.

Before the due date, my sisters and I went by his shop, and we found out that where he stopped the last time he was visited by the vigilantes was where he still was; no changes had been made. However, he assured us that he would meet up before the date which he signed himself. Some days before 6^th, one of the vigilantes called him, and he gave an excuse of being sick, and that already told me that he wasn’t going to deliver.

And he didn’t.

The advices I was getting were, “Go to the police,” and “Take him to court,” but sometimes, it always isn’t as easy as it seems.

I heard words like:

“You are being treated this way because you are a girl.”

“You shouldn’t have given him up to the amount that you gave him.”

“He is taking you for granted because you are not taking any strict measures against him.”

I kept giving Friday time and chance to act accordingly, but he didn’t. He never called until I did, and then he would have one story or another to give me. The 6^th of September came and went. Friday didn’t deliver, and nothing was done to him. Close to the end of September, there were still no words from him. He was walking around freely and going about his business. Eventually, we gave up on the supposed intervention of the vigilantes, which never happened, and decided to go for a more radical approach.

Again, my sister contacted a friend who knew a soldier, and he agreed to help out instantly.

Then before September ended, he eventually reached out to me for the first time and stated that he was out of money. He had done everything except my couch, and he was hoping that I would send the balance of thirty-three thousand naira to him to complete the work, with the promise of delivering everything the next Saturday. After the conversation, I told my sister to let sleeping dogs lie and not involve the soldier anymore.

I didn’t want to send him the balance, but then again, I wanted my furniture so badly that I was willing to give him one last chance, and more importantly, he showed me all that he had done over a video call, making me believe him. Besides, I didn’t want him to have an excuse as to why he hadn’t completed the job, so I sent the money to him. For the rest of that week, I intentionally decided to have strong faith in Friday.

Then Saturday came.

As usual, I called him in the morning and asked if he was still bringing the furniture that day, and in his response was, “I may or may not. Today na meeting and I get wedding wey I dey go.” That automatically meant that he wasn’t bringing them to my house that day.

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me.

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I lashed out at him and poured all the anger and frustration that his actions had built up inside of me. He would end my call, and I would call him back and continued to insist that I wanted my furniture that same day. Eventually, Friday started talking back at me.

He asked me to come and pick up the items from his shop, and he didn’t usually do self-delivery, but that he was only trying to do me a favor. Mind you, that wasn’t what he explained to be from the beginning. He wanted to call my sister to pacify her because he felt I wasn’t being reasonable, but she didn’t pay him any attention because she was also upset. Then she told him that whatever came his way for such behavior, he would have to endure it, and he responded with, “Oya na.”

You know what they say about desperate times calling for desperate measures?

My sister swung into action. She contacted her friend to reach out to the soldier again, and when he did, the soldier didn’t hesitate to get involved. She made plans with them to go to his house as early as possible the next morning, which was Sunday, just so that he wouldn’t escape them. The soldier contacted his friend to join him to make it more intense. Saturday morning, they went there with the intention of teaching him a lesson, forcing him to bring the sets of furniture himself, and even paying for the cost of delivery. That was the least he could do after the months of disappointment, and the money my sister and I had spent trying to get him to deliver.

Unfortunately, the friend of the soldier discovered that he was well acquainted with Friday when they got there. That alone made him reluctant to act as planned. He wanted to shield Friday from the consequences of his actions. Fortunately, the first soldier knew us from way back, and so he still took the case seriously.

Anyway, at Friday’s shop, they discovered that he still hadn’t fixed the mirror, which was part of the furniture set. My sister and the first soldier insisted that he must get everything fixed that Sunday, and they gave him until 12p.m. That way, he would have enough time to fix the mirror, and they would also find a truck that would bring them to my house.

That should end it, right? It didn’t.

After they left, Friday went to the home of the second soldier whom he was acquainted to, and began to plead with him. He didn’t stop there. He started telling lies to get sympathy and mercy. He said that I was paying him in bits; ten thousand here, twenty thousand naira there, and that was why he delayed for that long, forgetting that I had all the payment receipts with me. He went on to say that I was rude to him, which led him to act the way he did. He went further to say that my sister was angry and bitter against him because he dumped her and married another woman, hence, her actions regarding the issue.

None of those lies were enough for him.

Friday sweetened it by offering this soldier the sum of one hundred thousand naira as bribe so that they would leave the case alone.

Apparently, it was revealed that Friday owed most of his customers. He was living in debt and practicing the same promise and fail with others. He was hiding from a lot of angry clients whose furniture was overdue as well. Friday offered that bride because he wanted to give my set of furniture to another client, a man in government. After all, there was nothing I could to him, compared to the man.

The first soldier heard about it and vehemently refused the bribe. He insisted that my set of furniture MUST be delivered that Sunday without fail, and so by 12p.m, they went back to Friday’s shop, and he had everything ready. Contrary to the initial plan with the soldiers, I had to go ahead and pay for the delivery, which meant nothing to me when I saw the truck pull up at my house with my full set of furniture, along with Friday who fixed everything up that same Sunday.

If I had asked for a refund, as some friends suggested, I wouldn’t have gotten it. If I had delayed for a second, I wouldn’t have gotten the furniture when I did. If I had allowed some concerned friends to send “boys” to rough him up, it might have ended badly for me.

I should have learnt my lessons the first year he did his promise-and-fail thing with me, but I let Friday bite me more than once before deciding that next time, I would not rely on familiarity, and I would have my money saved up and ready so that I wouldn’t have to trust someone who had shown me shege once just because I wanted an easier process.

I have been bitten, and I am now more than five times shy, and I am never going back there.

Not now, not ever!