A Walk Down The Abyss

In recent times, men have now been known to selectively pick wives according to their present needs. Rarely do most of them now settle for love and affection; there has to be something they are looking to benefit from the union.

Lois, the daughter of a pastor and a student, dated her partner who is also a son of a pastor, for a year before they officially tied the knot. Unfortunately, things began to take an unpleasant turn early on the marriage, which led her to the discovery of the real reason her husband settled for her.

Apparently, her husband was in a relationship with a woman he claimed to love deeply, but then the issue of marriage visa application arose, prompting him to get married. He proposed marriage to her, but she turned him down, because she wasn’t ready for marriage; he also wasn’t ready, but because of the requirement of what he wanted to pursue, he had to get married. When his girlfriend turned him down, he focused his attention on Lois, whom he proposed marriage to in over a year of getting to know each other, and she willingly and happily accepted. Meanwhile, he was still communicating with the woman that turned him down; his supposed ex-girlfriend.

After the wedding, Lois returned to school in Jos and her husband began to apply for the visa, and while on it, Lois got pregnant. Then unfortunately for her husband, his application got declined. When the sole purpose of the marriage for Lois’s husband was not achieved, he began to display his true colors. He completely neglected her during the course of her pregnancy emotionally, financially, and morally, and as a result of that, she was unable to register for antenatal. Then Lois’s husband returned to giving his ex-girlfriend full attention. Lois had to depend on her parents for her fees and feeding while her husband gallivanted with his ex-girlfriend in Abuja.

Aside from these, Lois’s husband also has an unhealthy attachment to his mother. He practically consulted her for every single thing before taking actions, including looking after Lois financially. Lois noticed this on their wedding night when he left her all alone and went to his mother’s house to pass the night instead. When she tried to confront him about it, it almost escalated into a fight.

Lois suffered untold hardship while she was pregnant and still struggling with schooling. She had to depend on people around her for help the times when her parents could not afford to send her some money. Coupled with that, she was always getting calls from her friends who knew her husband about his escapades with women, especially his ex-girlfriend. It got so bad that Lois had to sell off some of the items that had already been bought for her unborn child just to survive.

Anyway, Lois gave birth to her child and returned to her husband’s house fully, but the maltreatment and neglect neither stopped nor subsided. In fact, it intensified; her husband not only expected her to perform marital and household duties, he also added domestic violence to the list, so much so that he even once slapped her in the presence of his mother and she did not caution him. Lois, in order to cater for herself and their daughter, had to get a teaching job at a private school where she was being paid a meager salary.

She endured all that for another year. On the day of their daughter’s first birthday, Lois’s husband demanded that they begin to work towards having another child. Recalling the pain and hurt she went through the first time, Lois refused to oblige him. Infuriated, her husband reported her to his mother who scolded Lois sternly, but Lois did not change her mind. The straw that broke the camel’s back for Lois was when she returned home one fateful day and found her husband in bed with his ex-girlfriend. There and then, she decided that the marriage was over.

Lois picked a bag and her daughter and returned to her parents, but her husband would not give up. He began to demand for the custody of his child. Without wasting time, Lois reported the case to a welfare organization which stood solidly behind her, took her to court and got full custody of their daughter for her.

A while later, Lois went to her now ex-husband’s house when he had gone to work, broke the lock and took everything of hers, including what her parents bought for her when she married him. Enraged, her ex-husband went to the police station and filed a report against Lois for burgling and theft. Fortunately for Lois, she was able to set herself free from those allegations when she narrated her ordeal to the policemen.

That was when the marriage officially ended.

It has been over a year now since they officially split up, and neither he nor any of his family members has made any attempt to reach out to her to check up on their daughter. According to news reaching Lois, her ex-husband has decided that he wants nothing to do with their child simply because she is a girl child. If it had been a boy, he would have fought tooth and nail to gain custody, so practically, he has dashed Lois their daughter.

Lois is doing better financially now, she has been able to provide a conducive environment for herself and her daughter, and she is now focused on herself and the wellbeing of her child.