What started off as a harmless friendship between two girls who are tenants gradually became a cause of concern for one of them.
The whole thing began when this other girl who rented an apartment close to Miss O’s compound where she is a tenant visited Miss O along with Miss O’s landlord’s wife. Before then, they usually met at the landlord’s wife’s shop and just enjoyed casual companionship. After the first visitation, she saw it comfortable to accompany the landlord’s wife to Miss O’s apartment again and again for a quick hello.
Then she came alone one time to seek advice on what style of dress to make for an occasion, and Miss O offered to lend her gele to give her outfit a complete look. She took that as an open invitation, and started showing up at Miss O’s apartment every day. On weekdays, she would show up as soon as Miss O returns from work, without giving her space to rest from the day’s work. Then she would stay at her place up until 12:00am midnight. On weekends, she would appear at her doorstep as early as 8:00am, even though Miss O would still be sleeping at that time; it is weekend, of course she would want to sleep off the stress of the entire week. She would stay at her apartment the whole day, only returning to hers at noon to have a shower and return right after.
On one occasion, Miss O checked the time and saw that it was 1:00am, and her guest was still at her house. When she drew her attention to how late it was, she acted surprised and dashed off.
So tiring was her persistent presence that Miss O would sometimes lock herself up in her apartment, including her windows and stay quiet when she comes and knocks just to send her away meanwhile, battling with intense heat inside. Also, she would sneak into her own house from work, and even avoid running into her neighbors, shut her door and pretend to still be away so that when she comes knocking right after and receives no response, any of her neighbors will confirm her absence, because they did not see her step in.
Another time, Miss O’s mother visited and passed the night at her place. She came right after Miss O’s mother arrived without giving her the space to enjoy that time with her mother. She lingered in her apartment as usual, and Miss O’s mother was forced to politely ask her to go and sleep in her apartment at almost midnight.
Miss O became so tired and frustrated with the girl’s constant presence in her space that she started using body languages to send hints and clues. When those did not work, Miss O opened up her likes and dislikes to her, and one of which includes always wanting to be alone. She even went ahead to tell her that she purposely rented the apartment for privacy and space; all in an attempt to pass the message across without coming off as rude and unreceptive.
All that, unfortunately, did not work as she continued coming day and night.
Often times, they would just stay in her apartment without having anything to talk about. It would just be two girls in one room, each pressing their phones. She also lies on her bed and leaves it scattered whenever she gets ministered by the Holy Spirit to return to her own apartment. All of these and more were gradually driving Miss O insane, and she does not know how else to tell her to accord her some space and privacy. Miss O is a compassionate and soft-hearted individual, which has made it quite difficult to be blunt and honest with her. Also, she is putting into consideration the girl’s kindness and support when she was going through financial difficulties.
Right now, Miss O is practically crying for help on how to handle the situation. Should she spell it out to this girl whose ears and senses have fallen deaf to Miss O’s body language and indirect messages?
How exactly should Miss O put an end to this misery and get her privacy back?
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Wonderful friendship 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Miss O should tell her she is traveling and not coming back anytime soon.
But they live close to each other, so how’ll she be able to pull that off???
Wonderful friendship 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Miss O should tell her she is traveling and not coming back anytime soon.
Miss O should tell her. If not, she’ll continue living in misery whilst the other girl enjoys her life.
They can peaceably work out visit schedules. But if ‘peaceably’ becomes out of the option, it is what it is.
Yeah, her peace is more important than all else.
miss O please don’t talk, you’re good person..don’t listen to this people’s opinion, you’re softhearted and they are not🤣
Unfortunately, being softhearted is not helping her at this point o.
True
Miss O failed to set boundaries early in the friendship but it isn’t late. She has to talk to the lady directly and not with body languages and all.
That shouldn’t spoil their friendship if the lady is mature and reasonable but if the friendship gets broken then so be it.
Exactly! Set boundaries early; don’t start what you cannot finish. However, she must place her peace above the friendship first.
She should let her know she doesn’t like incessant visitation. And she should be made aware of a schedule day she will like to receive visitors. Instead of the punishment she’s offering vto herself.
Thank you for this.
Being softhearted most times won’t help someone take the right decision, as it’s not helping her now also
Exactly, because some people lack boundaries
They are some people once you let them in they get too comfortable..
She might be blind to all the body languages and all,but once Miss O speak from the heart she will listen..
We should learn to say things when it affects us,no assumptions just facts
Learn to speak up, and the good part is, you can still do it politely.
I’m of the opinion that Miss O should be blunt with her as the girl seems not to understand her body language… Miss O can’t keep living the way at the detriment of her peace n private life.
Exactly! Why the hide and seek in your own house?
There is no two ways about it than for her (Miss O) to be blunt with her. Since body language didn’t work for her, being blust is the only option left. Everybody should learn how to respect other people’s space.
Yes, everybody needs to respect other people’s space.
I feel she could talk to her about it in a polite way.
Miss O should tell her straight to her face and also take her stand. She does not have to be living in misery because someone else lacks emotional intelligence.
Exactly!
True…she can pass a direct message while still being polite
there’s practically no two ways about this situation
miss O needs to be very very blunt about her feelings
it’s should always be you first……even if you want to be selfless
because people will stab you and ask you why you are bleeding
She needs to put herself first…
This is a wonderful write up.
The problem is with Miss O.
God himself demands that we ask (speak) and it shall be given unto us.
As long as she refuse to speak up, the lady will never see anything wrong in her frequent visits to her friend’s place.
I believe the other lady is lonely and needs companionship. If they can talk things out, Miss O would be able to find a way to help her friend for her to be able to enjoy her privacy.
Miss O need to put herself first,she should teIl her politely.I can imagine what she’s going through.I hate it when someone start invading my privacy.
Exactly, because how can I be experiencing inconveniences in my own space when you have yours?