A Father’s Love, Or Not.

What does a broken home do to the children produced from that union? Also, when couples who have come to the conclusion that they can no longer remain married, shouldn’t decisions made afterwards be to the betterment of their children?

Having grown up in an abusive home and watching her parents finally go their separate ways, this teenage healthy girl went with her mother to Kubwa, while her brothers (older and younger) had to go and stay with their paternal grandmother in Bako, in Abuja. After her parent’s separation, they sort of shared the responsibility of catering for the children; the mother took the girl, while the father took the boys. Unfortunately, the boys could not live with the father, because he was already living with his new family-one he had while still married to his now ex-wife; their mother. Therefore, they had to stay with their father’s mother in Bako.

However, she had to return to Bako and join her brothers, because as at the time her parents got divorced, she was already in JSS 3 and registered for junior WAEC in her secondary school along with her older brother whom they share the same class. According to the initial agreement, she would return to her mother in Kubwa after writing her external exams. Anyway, after her junior WAEC, she decided to stay at her paternal grandmother’s with her brothers, being that she had grown up with them, and therefore, has no desire to be separated from them, because she cannot live without them.

Her older brother who is also a teenager like her warned her about her decision to stay with them, telling her that she cannot stay with grandma, because things are not rosy at all for them, and living with the woman isn’t exactly exciting, but she would not be deterred…all for the love and connection she has with her brothers. Her mother knew that she had gone outside of their agreement, but she cannot force her daughter against her will, so she let her stay, promising to pay them occasional visits.

When she resumed SS 1 with her older brother, her father enrolled them in a boarding school, and her mother was also able to pay them visits. On this fateful day, she was writing her third term examination when suddenly, she began to scream “I did not cheat o! I did not cheat o!” Her teacher and classmates were surprised, of course, because no one had accused her of cheating. Her teacher tried to tell her that no one has said she cheated, but she continued to scream. Realizing that the situation was beyond the ordinary, they had to rush her to the school clinic. The school clinic tried their best to calm her down, but to no avail, so they had to transfer her to a clinic in Bako where she was placed on a drip. The school tried to reach her father, but he was unreachable, therefore they had to contact her step-mom; his current wife who made herself available.

Her step-mom and her brother were the ones who stayed with her in the clinic until the arrival of her father.

On arrival, her father demanded that she be discharged immediately. The doctor advised that she should not be taken away immediately, especially as she was still on drip, but he would not hear any of it, saying that it is his child, therefore he has a right to do as he pleases. Having said that, he single-handedly removed the drip from her and took her out of the clinic. One would think that he forcefully discharged her to transfer her to a better hospital where she would get better treatment since the case now happens to be mentally related, but instead, he took her home. At first it was to the home he shared with his present wife, where he denied her mother access to seeing her, before moving her to his mother’s house in Bako.

According to reliable sources, while she was at her paternal grandmother’s house without any medical attention, her condition deteriorated. She also withdrew from communicating with her brothers and a few other close people she was acquainted with. Whenever she was served food, she would reject it, and this act especially infuriated her father any time he was around to witness it, and in retaliation, he would flog her thoroughly with a belt.

 When her father realized that she was not getting better just being at home without any medical attention, he started taking her to different herbalist healing homes, which is quite shocking, because the man in question is an educated man. Anyway, the healing homes he took her to invoked all sorts of spirits on a teenage girl who is already suffering from mental imbalance. He watched them feed her with all sorts of fetish things all in the name of attempting to cure her of whatever it was that was disturbing her.

All this time, her father adamantly refused her mother from seeing her. A once chubby and happy teenage girl became extremely skinny and sickly to look upon. It was not until all those healing homes failed at healing her, and she was as good as “mad” that her father released her to her mother.

Her mother took her to a hospital where she was administered treatment, and a psychiatrist was assigned to her. Miraculously, she started responding to treatment faster than anyone had expected. After a long time of consistent medical care and love, she is now fully recovered, has regained her natural body weight, and living with her mother again.

She could have been lost to the cold hands of death, or found roaming the streets as a deranged teenager if not for the intervention of her mother. Is the father’s decision and attempt at providing solution to her illness the new form of parental love?