Why do people lie or pretend just to get what they want?
Often times when counseling people who have found the one they intend to spend forever with, they tell them to be open to each other about their needs and desires and future plans, both as individuals, and as a couple. This aim, I suppose, is to be sure that they are both in alignment emotionally, physically, financially, and even spiritually, so that at the end of the day, one of them doesn’t feel choked or lost while making the other partner seem controlling or enforcing their desires on them.
Down to the littlest and inconsequential things as well, and that, they say is the true essence of “courting”, or “dating” as we prefer to call it now.
On the other hand, miscommunication and ignorance and refusal to lay down these plans and desires before venturing into marriage are occasionally the blame for a failed marriage or one with too many misunderstandings; “Did you not know he was like this before you married him?” “Did you not know that she had always wanted this or that before you married her?”
People, unlike before, have discovered more about themselves, and they are being encouraged not to be silent about who they are, and in the present society, you either accept them that way, or leave them alone. After all, if they have accepted themselves, the world will definitely adjust. Also, people want to explore, try new things, to be a whole lot of things whilst they are still on earth, so being with someone who does not share those desires and wants will only lead to foreseeable problems later on.
A while back, I read about a husband who complained sorely about his wife changing. In this sense, she has refused to continue to engage in what they had both agreed upon before getting married. Now the question is why do people do that? Is it the desperate need to get “hooked” or do preferences and choices just change with time?
Anyway, this young man got into a relationship with his missing rib and fell in love. However, his partner was reluctant to continue with the relationship after a while, except of course, they get married immediately. As a man who had found a precious jewel in a heap of dirt, he went above and beyond to make sure that he met her ultimatum.
Regardless, in the stage where intending couples open up to each other about their desires and expectations, he made it known to her that he was not interested in having kids immediately after marriage. For him, a year or two was fine before they would start considering starting a family of their own.
She willingly agreed, or so he thought.
Barely a month into the marriage, she began to pester him about having children. She could no longer wait for a year or two to start having children. When the pressure became high, he eventually succumbed to her again, but that did not stop him from grumbling about it to close family members, especially when the reality of hospital bills and fatherhood set in.
This now brings us back to the question asked at the beginning; why do people lie or pretend just to get what they want, or is it that barely a month into the marriage her choice changed?
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In my opinion, I’d say that it’s sad that people actually lie to get their needs or desires met, it’s a ‘thing’. Conversely, preferences cannot just change like that, in a month’s time, speaking about the woman mentioned in the story.
Her succumbing to his plans at the initial stage could just be a smokescreen to her intended end.
True.
I can relate to this because i’ve had a similar experience.For me I think sometimes when we are in love we say things and make promises without actually thinking about it.when reality sets in we realise they’re not things we can do.Sometimes these things are not intensional.
Does reality really kill love? And what is exactly difficult in carrying out what you promised or agreed to in “love”? Most times, it’s the desperate need to get settled in marriage that causes people to make “promises”, not love.
I totally agree with “desperate” but are you saying love cannot make a person desperate to settle down with his or her lover?
Love is not desperate📌
In addition,I didn’t say reality kills love,I was only trying to say sometimes we are unrealistic when we’re in love,dts why they say love is blind.plus just because I changed my mind on something doesn’t mean I don’t love you.Now the reason I kept using d word “sometimes” in my comment is because this is not always d case,Some people just lie to get their way.what I won’t agree with is for us to forget dt there are other explanations to this kind of situation.
One thing we should all understand is that change is constant. And when things change and then there’s a lack of communication, things like this do occur. So it is best for them to be ever open to discuss any change of interest as at when due.
Hmmm, this is another angle.
People lie a lot when they are desperate, after getting what they want you will then see who they truly are. I think the man is frustrated and unhappy seeing how he is grumbling.
Yeah
As to the story, I see it as pure deceit, she was more interested in the title of bearing a “Mrs” to thinking things through. Desperate people don’t know love, they don’t know promises. Once you marry a desperate man or woman, be sure to be amazed all through your lifetime cause nothing will tally to the initial agreement they had. Moreover, we are already married for better for worst tends to be quote of the day.
Desperate people don’t know love📌