The infamous Nigerian mentality regarding marriage is that a woman is applauded only when she is able to bear or withstand violence from her husband. There seems to be this invincible crown the society places on her head when she has all but endured and stayed in an abusive marriage, especially for the sake of her children.
We call her The Strong Woman, is it not?
Grace got married to her husband in Edo State who was a bicycle repairer then many years ago, but the marriage did not enjoy a moment of peace since its inception. While some other Strong Women have had to endure cheating, greed, emotional abuse, family hatred and the likes, Grace’s battle had been domestic violence and physical abuse. Interestingly, such unhealthy marriage managed to produce five children.
At some point, her husband took their children and relocated to the West without her knowledge, but as a worried mother, she went in search of them. Fortunately for her, she met someone who knew the whereabouts of the children and informed her. When she got there, she found her children indeed, but then she stayed back with them, and co-habitation began again.
Her elder sister who was well aware of the tribulations Grace was passing through in her marriage, went with her son to look for her after she failed to return from her search for her children in the West. Her elder sister also trailed her down to where she was residing with her husband and their children. When she found Grace and her children, they were looking unkempt and starved, so she gave them some money to shave off their bushy hair and get some food to eat. There and then, a fight ensued between Grace’s sister and her husband when he arrived home, and her elder sister, together with her son joined forces together and beat up the man. This action of theirs really pleased their neighbors, as they informed them that had they not come and taken such actions against the man, they had already planned to do so themselves, because of the cruel treatment he was unleashing on his family.
However, that did not stop the man from being a monster.
Later on, Grace had to take her children and run to her elder sister’s house in Abuja for shelter, but it seems there was no hiding place for either of them as he followed her down to Abuja and found her. After a supposed reconciliation, they came together as a family again and rented an apartment. They also started a business together-“ogbono” buying and selling, but even at that, he was dishonest about the business with Grace, and their fighting did not stop or subside.
Well, a leopard cannot change its spots.
In a bid to help Grace, her elder sister advised her that they should involve a police man who is from their hometown to call the man to order, but Grace kept postponing it any time she brought up the issue. Meanwhile, this husband of hers always threatened to kill her whenever they were at it again. On one occasion, Grace called her sister on the phone in the middle of the night; they were fighting again, but apparently, the beatings were too much on her, so she ran to her sister’s house again for safety. Much later, her children joined her there, and it appeared that she had finally decided to be less of a Strong Woman.
But this did not sit well with Grace’s husband at all.
A month after-this was already 2022, Grace was returning from the market where she had gone to do her business with her nine years old son when her estranged husband suddenly appeared before her just a house away from her sister’s house. Before she could fathom out what was going on, he brought out a knife and stabbed Grace, eliciting screams from their young son who was of course startled by the occurrence before him.
“My daddy don kill my mummy oh!” he started to cry out, but Grace’s husband and the boy’s father threatened to kill him as well if he continued to shout. So their son took to his heels! Not satisfied with one knife-stab, he stabbed her again and left her bleeding. By the time Grace was found, she was already gasping for air and fighting for her life. She was hastily taken to a hospital, and then another after the first one rejected her.
Grace did not survive it.
Unknown to the man, their son who was an eye-witness to his father gruesomely killing his mother in cold blood had narrated the story to everyone. He probably thought that the threat he made on the boy would silence him. After Grace’s untimely death, the case was reported in the police station, and when some police men were sent to arrest him, they surprisingly found him seated in the house.
He was arrested and jailed.
However, he started yelling at the top of his voice in prison that he wanted to urinate. Due to his loud persistence, he was shown to the back of the police station where he could relieve himself. At the back of the police station, the roof was not ceiled, therefore the woods used for constructing the roof were exposed, and there was also a tap. He turned on the tap and left it running. Then he took off his trousers, tied one leg of it to one of the woods on the roof and used the other leg of the trousers to hang himself.
By the time the police got to him, he had already given up the ghost.
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Honestly, these are the issues. He may, most probably, have been a psychopath. It’s so tragic that this is a norm and not much is done about it and people keep making famous the idea of being a ‘Strong Woman’ regardless.
Who knows anything about being a psychopath in this part of the world???
The woman stayed far too long in that so called marriage, she saw all the signs but neglected them. 5 children in that kind of home God forbid bad thing 😔😔
Maybe it was a ride or die arrangement🤷
May we not be unfortunate in this life, cause Even after leaving, the man didn’t let her go, he followed her and ended her life. May we not be married to our death in disguise of a husband, Amen.
Exactly… Amen
Nice write up darling..Most women are in bondage,all in the name of bearing “Mrs”, what the people will say (the same people that will continue with their lives when the victim dies), what the man is doing for their families…In all your getting,get understanding.Nobody prays to marry a wrong person but it happens, separation is the best option.Safety first! May God help us to marry right.Amen
And may we not marry someone who would rather see us dead than separated from them.
Nice write up… Things women endure all in the name of marriage
Thanks
Kudos to the writer.. physically assaulting your wife is a no no what message do you want to pass to the children
Imagine how that little boy who witnessed it would grow up…
This should enlighten young people who intend to get married…carefully study ur man or woman and most times do very annoying things to see d other side of the person… once u marry n give birth u owe so much responsibility to the kids… I rest my case
Yes, because it is no longer just you and your partner involved now.
Wow.One thing a woman should never take is physical abuse,it’s a threat to life.divorce is no longer a big deal…let’s learn from pple’s experiences.
True
God abeg oo… May we not meet monsters in form of a life partner. This is so sad, I was just picturing every scene in my head
Really sad
May we never meet such cruel and heartless partners…
Amen.
God abegggg oo🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻😫😫.
Honestly
Yet another reason why I don’t believe in the “For better for worse” nonsense . If you get into business with someone and you find out he/she is cheating, everyone would advice you to cut ties.
If you work somewhere and your boss maltreats you, everyone would advice you to leave but when it’s marriage they would bring out the For better for worse story.
If you find out your partner is abusive, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!
She did run, but the man would not have it.
The man was not normal FRs…if she had raised alarm earlier, it would have probably been arranged for him to be taken to a psychiatric hospital or something….God help us all oo