āFour months into my marriage, I realized that I had made a mistake.ā
This was the exact statement of a Nigerian man who has been married for about twenty years as at when this statement was made. Now, looking deeply into it, one would try to imagine what sort of marriage the couple are living in, especially having being in it for years now with children to consider. Think of what this man might be thinking or feeling when he sees her, which will have to be way too often by the way.
According to him, he had just finished NYSC, and the moment he sighted his wife, who lived just a few houses away, he decided that that she was going to be his wife. She had just graduated from the University at that time. As a man on a mission, he went after her, and few months later, they tied the knot. However, the marriage has been a bumpy ride ever since; cheating, violence and emotional abuse.
Just recently, the real story behind it came to light.
Now, this man in question, who has been keeping in touch with his ex-girlfriend-whom he speaks very fondly about, has revealed that they were actually in a relationship the whole period of his years in school, which in the Nigerian education system, is four years according to the course he studied. He went on to narrate that they practically did everything togetherā¦from attending classes, cooking and eating, taking pictures, blah blah blah. Till date, he still has those pictures they snapped together while in school, and if you are privileged to go through his photo album, he would not hesitate to point her out for you, and then go ahead to tell you about their love story.
Which begs the question: what happened to that seemingly beautiful relationship?
In a recent chat, he said that they both finally talked about what happened with them. Recall that he is still communicating with this ex-lover of his after so many years. And in opening up to each other, they both realized why. To him, he said he felt as though she was not ready for him, and so when he found someone who was willing to settle down with him, he immediately went for her. While on her part, she said that he was too hasty in his decisions and actions, because at that time, they had had some misunderstanding, and before she could blink her eyes, he was already married to someone else.
The man confirmed that indeed, there had been a misunderstanding before he married his present wife, which he obviously misread as his reason for choosing someone else, because he did admit that they did not get around to resolving it (a fault on his part). So, instead of resolving it as lovers ought to, he had gone ahead and married someone else, which takes us back to the realization barely four months into his marriage to his wife. Apparently, he did not understand the reason for this realization until they finally got to talk about it.
It is now safe to say that in his quest to settle down, and as a result of his reaction to hurt and anger, he has pulled someone’s daughter into a loveless marriage.
Questions:
Is the man living in regret?
If he has a chance to really be with this ex-girlfriend of his, will he take it?
Who is he being unfair to: his wife, ex-girlfriend or himself?
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I feel sorry for the wife, even if she tries everything to please him, his heart is far away… Mistake most ladies make is we marry who is ready and not who we love and it comes with it’s own repercussions.
That’s true!!
So sad! I’m sympathetic towards the woman, tho.
1. He’s obviously living in regret.
2. He’d grab the opportunity with both hands assuming the action has inconsequential reaction.
3. The wife; she’ll never be enough for the man, no matter how hard the tries.
Exactly!
It wasnāt too late when he realized that..After all it was just four months into the marriage what actually stopped him from getting a divorce?
Why is divorce legalized?
wo! make him relax or marry the Second Lady he felt he truly loves after all in reality we are in a polygamous society.
“it wasn’t too late when he realized that”š
He realised early, didn’t talk to the poor woman about separating, led her on hoping for what he knows will never come. He is constantly in regret thereby transferring it on the poor woman making it look like she is the bad person, meanwhile his heart yearns for another.
The things that happen in our society
I feel so sorry for the poor woman (his wife)
I do too
Wow
Nice storylines
More wisdom to write more
Amen!!!
I pity the woman cos no matter how much she tries to make the marriage work,it won’t.
No truer words.
Wow!!!!!!! Am feeling really bad for her, it can only take the grace of God for the marriage to work again
You think it will after twenty years and it hasn’t???
Crazy things are happening
Indeed
I think is really the fault of the guy for being impatience and hasty decision, now he is living in regret!
These are the problem most marriages are facing today in our economy. Some lack of understanding etc
No matter how hard she tries, the marriage is not going to work.
True
Honestly, it’s only God that help us make the right decision relationship wise
True
I sympathize with the unhappy man having to use cheating and other unhealthy relationship behaviors as a distraction. He was, and is supposed to be a loving husband and heās aware of that,
The wife is just unlucky, a divorce will do her much good if she seek happiness as he cannot give what he doesnāt have,.. but again, wetin remain self wey she never see?.
2. I doubt, heās prioritizing being a good father.
3. Heās being unfair to himself, which is fair considering being the villain in two different relationships.
1. Theyāre all living in regret.
MARATHON WEY NO GET WINNER. š§āš¦Æ
š
Omor this one choke
Lmao!
This is a beautiful piece and very unique,interesting and intriguing
One would want to know whatās next
In my opinion if he has the slightest chance he would run back into the arms of his ex In marriage
This is why one shouldnāt make hasty decisions when angry
Nailedš
Lovely story to start with.
And to the questions
1. I think he will be living in regret cos he’s obviously not enjoying his marriage. I think this a great story to learn from, under no circumstance should you be pressured into marriage.
2. I’m not a fan of going back to exes, but base on this story I think he will gladly accept his ex back.
3. Hmm, he’s been unfair to all (himself, his wife, & his ex)
Nailedš
We’ll, I feel bad for her(the wife).It not easy to be in an unhappy married, but I strongly believe that what God can not do does not exist. She can be happy again if they both replan again.
Right
His wife is the victim here.people need to take marriage more seriously.Its not something you jump into just because you feel itās time,itās should only be because u found the one.
I strongly agree.
Life Quotes
Live life like a butterfly. Take a rest. But never forget how to fly. It’s also a camera. Focus on whatās important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives and if it doesnāt work out, just take another shot!
Right
This is an interesting story…I think people who break a long standing relationship because of a mere misunderstanding are making a terrible mistake. Before breaking a relationship, give yourselves time to heal. After that healing process, if you both still feel the resentment for each other, then you can both call it quits….
“Give yourselves time to heal.”š
Iām beginning to think that love is complicatedš. A sad story that could have been avoided. May God help someone through this love and happiness thing!
My own favorite writer šš, I must say your pen game is madddddd 100%. Things I love to read
Thank youš
I will never understand how people rush into this marriage thing, if anything, youāre suppose to overthink it sef..youāre literally picking who you spend THE REST OF YOUR LIFE with..no naw, your life time is too long a time to wake up every morning to a person you are not drowned in love with. My heart goes out to his wife and children coz theyāre literally paying for mistakes they didnāt make and thatās beyond unfair.. those kids will not grow up to know what it means for love to be present in a family, theyāll never understand what a real marriage should be like and that just sad.
1.. is he living in regret tho?..coz heās practically still with his ex lover so heās still āwinningā.
2.. without the chance gon, he is still sleeping with his ex lover..best believe heād rush at the opportunity to legally be with her. The issue here is more of if heād take the chance to get rid of his wife and not if heād take the chance to be with his ex coz heās more or less still with her.
3.. both his wife and childrenā¦ a failed marriage sheās not at fault for would haunt her till she decides to leave, if she decides to leaveā¦and those kids just most likely wonāt be able to picture successful marriages of their own.
Nailed
I feel for the wife cos no matter what good she did in that marriage, her husband will never be satisfied and he will forever compare her to his ex.
The man should face his reality and love his wife if he ever wants to be happy.
That’s if he can get his ex-lover off his mind.